This wonderful phrase is the German equivalent of, I've had it up to here. It's a colorful way to describe the lack of patience I've had of late. I think that three months travel through Africa is the equivalent of a year in Asia. So, I'm tired. We are in the land of fast internets now (Cairo) and so will try to keep this blog more updated than it's been recently, thereby stemming the flood of complaints. Without further ado...
Ethiopia. From the air, I can see that the horizon is rimmed by a thick layer of brown. Not smog: dust. The terrain is a series of brown plateaus carved by deep ravines. At the bottom flow wide rivers of dry, grey stones. It is hard to imagine that there has ever been or ever will be enough water to cut such deep gorges. Like the air, the ground is also dusty. Most of the fields lie fallow, a collection of dry stalks and rocks. Most of the rivers are completely dry. In one riverbed, I see women washing clothing in a puddle - all the water that remains. The rains don't arrive until May and everyone is predicting massive droughts for the Horn and East Africa. We take short showers every other day.
The roads are impressive feats of engineering carved up and down gorges the size of the grand canyon. The buses are less impressive being about 40 years old and full of dust. On the 11-hour trip from Gonder to Shire, I spent much of the time with my sarong wrapped around my mouth and nose to facilitate breathing. It was like a mini-burning-man dust storm inside the bus. In addition to dust, the air is filled with the sound of Ethiopian music played on cassettes that have been baked on the dashboard for months. Z and I joke that the songs are hits by such memorable groups as The Strangling Cats, The Gurgling Dervishes and The Drowning Eunechs. A man seated behind us complains loudly and asks the conductor to turn off the music (even though all was spoken in Amharic, the meaning was clear). The bus goes silent - for at least five minutes. And then the music starts again. We suffer on through a land with very little green - what green exists is a dusty shade of olive; there's no freshness. It would be a hard land to live in; I now understand what people mean when they say that Africa is a mess.
There are so many poor people here and so many of them are disabled by age or polio or elaphantitus or other disfiguring diseases. Many are amputees. All are beggars. We make it a habit to not give money to children or people who look like they could work (not that there are any jobs to be had), saving our coins instead for the old and disabled. One older man stops us on the cobbled street of Lalibela to ask for change. He sports a dusty grey turban and is leaning heavily on a staff. Z digs into his pocket and gives him some change - not much, but something. The man looks at the coins in his palm, makes a face, shakes his finger at Z and says something at us in Amharic. The meaning is clear: somehow we have insulted him by the smallness of our donation. Outraged, Z takes the money back and we walk off thinking, Don't beg if you don't need whatever you can get. This is not the only time this happens. But it is balanced by moments where people seem grateful. Also in Lalibela, we see a woman in front of us crawling because she has no feet. Without her asking, we give her some money. Her face lights up with joy and immense gratitude. She seems so happy; we gave so little. I appreciate her for combatting my growing cynicism.
On an island in Lake Tana near Bahar Dar we walk up a rocky trail to a monastery. The round church in the compound has dark brown dirt walls flecked with hay; they seem velvety. The center of the roof is topped with a cross and bells that tinkle delicately in the breeze. Three of us pay the guard to go in. The doors are solid wood, tall - the kind that fold in half and then push open. As they open, sunlight hits the walls of the inner sanctuary which are painted with brilliant colors: saints and angels and more saints with afros in purples, greens, yellow, reds, oranges and blues. The colors have the vivacity of central America. We recognize a couple of figures: here's the saint who was a cannibal; there's the saint whose leg fell of and then flew up to heaven. It's brilliant and beautiful and completely unexpected.
We reach Lalibela as our barrels begin to overflow. It's a poor town on a steep hill. The nicest house we see doesn't have glass in its windows. And the churches! Carved from solid rock! Some are still partly attached to the rock around them; some have been excised and stand as monoliths. The walls are pocked by chisel marks; there are columns and arches and complicated drainage systems and one tunnel that we walk through that is completely pitch black. I walk with one hand on the ceiling, one hand on the wall. We emerge into the light tingling with the thrill of it. Walking through yet another giant monument to God, I am astounded as the lengths to which people will go because of faith.
I am also astounded as to the lengths we will go to avoid talking to people. Most are touts and children selling things, though I'm sure we also spurn some well-meaning folk. On one memorable walk, when asked where he is from, Z replies, "Venus." The children seem puzzled for a moment and ask, pointing at the sky, "Venus?" Z assures them that yes, they understand him correctly; he is from Venus. "Did you come by rocket?" they ask. "No," Z replies and then pantomimes flying and climbing a rope. I am in hysterics. The children are also laughing. They they ask Z what he does. He explains that he's a vampire (a word they instantly understand), which is why he cannot buy any of the leather or silver crosses that they are hawking. At another time, I pretend that I don't speak English and discover just how hard it is to not react to people when they are talking to you. One group of men lounging by a wall in Aksum asks us if we need a guide. When we say no thank you, they ask, "Would you like to be heckled?" We laugh and walk on.
So for all the moments of exasperation and the lack of culinary delight, there have also been funny moments and beautiful things to see. The churches of Lalibela; the castles of Gonder. This country is certainly worth visiting if you have a two week holiday. Just remember to bring vitamins.
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