February 26, 2006

Then and Now

For four months, we've been slogging our way through Africa. And now, we're in the Land of Milk and Honey, which I humbly suggest be renamed the Land of Chocolate Cake and Cappucino. After a hassle-free week of good food and comfortable living, I find that my tendency to laugh in difficult situations has returned - not that we've had any difficult situations recently. This weekend was spent at the King David Hotel thanks to my wonderful parents-in-law and parents-not-in-law. It was the opposite of difficult. Our room with a view over the Old City was upgraded to a suite with a view over the Old City. We had two TV's, a king size bed with down pillows and comforter, and a wonderfully deep bathtub which I took advantage of twice. It was bubblicious.

In addition to bathing and watching bad movies on TV, we took the rampart walk around the Old City. I've visited many old and beautiful places in my life (Tikal, Angkor Wat, Valley of the Kings, etc.), but none that have permeated the fabric of my consciousness quite like the sites in Jerusalem. While walking through the city last week, Z pointed out that we were on the Via Dolorosa. "So?" I asked in my areligious ignorance. He explained that it's the route Jesus walked carrying his cross. Oh. And the eye of the needle is here, too - as in, pass a camel through the eye of the needle. It's crazy old. And crazy important to so many people.

As for me, I'm discovering, much to the dismay of our bank account, that clothes are important. It's taken me 30 years to accept the fact that I do have feminine tendencies and to admit that I like nice clothes. For four months, I've been wearing the same clothes over and over again. This was particularly problematic in Egypt where the cold made us reticent to remove said clothes so that they could be laundered; let's just say that they got a little narsty. Not only that, but in Egypt I didn't want to look attractive or feminine; I got enough unwelcome attention in my baggy pants and shapeless top. For my birffday (pronounciation care of Raelin), I got new clothes from Miryana, Dad and Zack. I know have cute skirts and tops that do not make me look "big" as one saleswoman put it - this in a boutique near Ben Yehudah where the aformentioned baggy and stained pants were exchanged for a series of beautiful skirts and elegant tops. Both Z and I stood and stared at me, shocked at the difference good tailoring will make.

This would, I believe, be an appropriate moment to heap praise upon my exceptional husband who figured out how to make me happy and who planned this fantastic 30th birthday by e-mail from another country - and managed to keep it all a secret despite my tendancy to read over his shoulder. Thanks also for all of the phone calls and letters and cards and a beautiful red necklace and a pair of ExOfficio underwear and the chocolate fudge and the chocolate bars and photos and NY Times crossword puzzles and the cominc book and the big pink lollipop. It was wonderfully comforting to feel you all so close.

Todah rabah. Shockran. Amaseganallo. Asante sana. Thank you!

February 20, 2006

The Unlearning Curve

Last night, we went out for a late dinner with our wonderful hosts Lorel and Arnie. I had coffee that tasted like coffee and an immense salad full of goat cheese and walnuts. On our walk back, I saw a lull in traffic and stepped out to cross the street. Lorel pulled me back and pointed to the pedestrian light saying, "You walk when the little guy is green." Silly me going all Cairo on the Jerusalem traffic -- which, by the way, people claim is crazy though it looks downright sane to me. I mean, cars generally drive between the lines and use their headlights at night and the horn does not appear to be an integral part of the accelerator. So, yes, I'm relearning how to cross the street. And how to use a stove. And that it's just fine to leave my passport out. And that it's not necessary to wear shoes in the shower. It's very exciting here in Jerusalem.

Also exciting is the fact that we have more pictures to share. Check 'em out.

February 16, 2006

Five Unrelated Thoughts

1. In the Valley of the Kings, we stopped in one tomb to watch two men inject silicon into a crack in the wall using hypodermic syringes. One of the workers was quite friendly and spoke some English. After asking us where we were from, he asked if we were married. He then muttered something about camels and gave us an expectant look, the only indication that he'd just asked us a question. Z shot me a what-the-hell? look. "I think he's asking how many camels you paid for me," I responded. Z chose what he thought would be a high number (45) and immediately realized this was in fact a low number, judging from the expression on the man's face and the fact that he said something involving the number 600. Oops. He next asked how long we'd been married, and then said, "Shildreeen?" When we said, "No" he looked at us aghast, clearly very upset. Having received this reaction before I repeated, "Four months." He smiled and laughed and said, "Soon inshallah". Uh, yeah.

2. There once was a queen named Hatchepsut. When the king died, her son and heir was too young to rule. So she assumed title of pharaoh, even going so far as to don a fake beard. Her son grew up. She did not relinquish her rule. Feeling the title of pharaoh was rightfully his, the son murdered his mother and ascended to the throne. This son scratched out her name in the temples, tore down one of the beautiful pink granite obelisks she'd erected, and surrounded the other with tall sandstone walls so that no-one would see it. In 2006, her name was further dishonored by a certain Troublonian who insisted on calling her Ketchup's Foot. Poor lady.

3. All too often when traveling, I see someone who looks a lot like someone I know, someone who couldn't possibly be wherever it is that I am. For example, I saw Mojo dressed in a turban and dress in the night market in Luxor and I saw Zay somewhere in Uganda. Yesterday, Z saw Kenneth walking down the street near our Cairo hostel. Feeling the burning torch of inspiration, I christened this the Kenneth Syndrome.

4. Cairo parking tips: It is perfectly permissible to park in a lane of traffic and in such a way as to block in several cars that are parked against the curb as long as you leave your car in neutral and don't set the break. If the cars need to leave, they will simply push your car out of the way. Similarly, if a parking spot is too small to fit your car, simply drive up to the bumper of the car ahead of you and push it out of the way. It is preferable that you do not push the car into oncoming traffic or any pedestrians stupid enough to be in your way.

5. We have plans that involve several countries. Tomorrow, we go to Israel. After a couple of weeks, we go to Jordan. Then we fly to Dubai where we spend several hours. And then it's on to Colombo, Sri Lanka. I hear it's warm there.

February 12, 2006

In the Black

Travel is a series of ups and downs, as everyone who's ever left their home will know. It seems like most of our time in Africa has been in the red - more downs that ups. Egypt has been in the black.

We organized a felucca trip from Aswan to Edfu for us and 6 other travelers. It was supposed to be three days and three nights. On the first day we had been sailing for no more than 20 minutes when the top boom snapped, forcing us to stop at the northern limits of Aswan town to have it repaired. Our captain said, "Half an hour." Maybe he meant until lunch because the repairs took all day. Five hours later, we set sail again. A couple of hours later, at the twilit end of sunset, the boom snapped again. This time the repair did only take half an hour. We sailed long into the night under a 3/4 moon illuminating the tall sail which arced above us to the few visible stars, all of us wearing everything in our bags and swaddled in blankets against the cold. We spend the night tied up to the river bank near a large pack of dogs that were almost hoarse from barking - almost but not hoarse. I think I slept about three hours, huddled under blankets next to my shivering husband. Somehow, it had managed to be a good day.

The next day was hazy, misty and cold. We played games, chatted, laughed, ridiculed one another and our countries, ate hot food, sipped hot tea with lots of sugar, drank beers that were too cold to hold, and sang loudly and badly. Our second night was much warmer, and the third day was clear and sunny. I was able to remove my goretex jacket. Around noon the meuzzin began their Friday call to prayer and our captain announced that we were in Edfu. A day early. There was much confusion. How did three days three nights become two nights and three half days of sailing??? My bladder took precedence over any discussions and I, with the three other women de-boated in search of a bathroom. We were immediately surrounded by a group of boys insisting that a bathroom was "Thees way" and pointing in about five different directions. We followed for a while and then decided to ditch them and try our luck asking at one of the nearby flotels. One of the young boys grabbed inappropriately at our Austrian "tea maiden" who turned and punched him hard. Meanwhile, our crowd of followers was growing: carriage drivers offered us rides; taxi drivers offered us rides; Ahwa owners offered us tea and coffee and soda; vendors tried to sell us postcards and kalabiyas and water pipes. It was an immediate, graceless transition from relaxation to tout-filled travel. I was not happy. I wanted to stay on the Nile, even with the cold eating away at my joints and making me feel like a 60 year old arthritic woman.

Declining offers of carriages and taxis, we walked through Edfu to the Temple of Horus, an immense structure most of which is still standing. Carvings or gods and pharoahs and wives and hieroglyphics. Immense columns. Graffiti in Greek. A colorful painting of a woman with a skirt of blue stars on a ceiling. A carving of Isis giving birth to Horus. And masses of tourists giving me dirty looks for elbowing my way through their groups which had completely blocked all passage through the temple.

Back to the felucca for bags and to try to explain to our captain that we were not paying the last 200 pounds we owed because the trip was 2.5 days, 2 nights instead of 3 days 3 nights. Much confusion. Much tension. Much ickiness. But it all sorted itself out... I think.

Then on to the bus station, with a following band of boys and carriage drivers telling us it was "Thees way" and pointing in about five different directions. Eventually we discovered we had to walk across the river to the main road where we would hopefully flag down a bus at the police checkpoint. When we arrived at the checkpoint 4 hot kilometers later and asked about a bus to Luxor we were told, "Maybe" by an officer with a face crinkled in doubt. Astonishingly, a bus appeared after only about 20 minutes - and we were allowed to board. There were even seats. And a movie without sound - but it was "Air Force One" so sound wasn't necessary. We stopped for half an hour in a cafe somewhere and caught the beginning of the Africa Nations Cup final: Egypt vs. Cote d'Ivoire. We left and the score was 0-0.

The bus dropped us off somewhere near Luxor, on a dark street in the countryside. Bilge Pump Bob immediately ran off to check the score: still 0-0. A taxi appeared, as they tend to do, and the driver with attendant crowd of men asked us for a ridiculous price, as they tend to do. He also claimed to have heard of the hotel we were aiming for, and then proceeded to stop to ask for directions at least three times. We were growing more and more irritable, wanting to be watching the game and/or showering and/or eating. We found the hotel which amazingly had enough rooms for all 8 of us, rooms that were clean and affordable. Most importantly, there was a TV in the lobby - and the score was still 0-0. The game went to penalty kicks when the Egypt goalkeeper stopped not one but two balls, winning the game for Egypt. Oh the honking celebrations! The flag waving! The shouts of Masr! The mad, sober revelry! I can only imagine that all of Cairo was turned into one hootin' tootin' parking lot.

We found a restaurant for dinner which served $1.25 roast chicken and $2.00 berbekio (bbq) which was delicious. Then we all collapsed into our warm beds with comfortable pillows realizing that despite the downs of the previous few days, we were still in the black.