Back in October, I thought I was being so clever to avoid all the "What's next?" questions that accompany any major life change - like marriage or graduation or moving house/country. I laughed me all the way to Africa in my cleverness. I laughed from Africa to the Middle East, and from there to Asia and even laughed in Australia. Well, the laughing stopped about three days after we landed at SFO. All those questions weren't avoided so much as they were postponed. We have since had a head-on collision, them in their Hummer and me in my Geo Metro. (They won.) I am now mired in a morass of WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?
While it may not sound like returning to SF for the summer was a brilliant plan, it has managed to answer one question about where I want to live: Not here, at least not right now. It seems that almost everywhere we've been has been a whole lot of "Not here". Which begs the question, "Then Where?" The answer is contained within a multidimensional scatterplot with axes like (but not limited to) job availability, job likability, friendliness quotient, distance from family, minimum temperature, proximity to water, language barriosity, and cost of living. It's a complicated business trying to make decisions for two people.
On Monday night, waiting for the 49 bus (our new Muni friend which I already hate), Zack pointed out that I have street humor. This is not to imply that I have a potty mouth (which I do, but that's not the point), but rather that my humour is spur-of-the-moment, spy-a-shiny-thing-on-the-ground-and-pick-it-up in character. At least I usually laugh.
And on Saturday, Bill taught us a new game the name of which I've already forgotten but which was great fun. It involved Zack rolling in sheep. And we haven't even got to New Zealand yet.
June 29, 2006
June 21, 2006
To Excess
Our first day in Melbourne, we head to the supermarket with mum. I'm excited about cooking dinner and we need supplies. I forget that this simple errand can induce culture shock. And it does. There are aisles and aisles and aisles and they're all full of food. At least, I think it's food. Everything is wrapped or canned or otherwise packaged and there's no smell. I compare this experience to that of most Africans and get a taste of the shock of immigration. Not only must it be a hard adjustment to make personally, but also there are friends and family still at home who do not have access to such excess.
On Saturday night in San Francisco, we head over to our old 'hood to play ring toss. On our way back to Muni we pass Marcelo's and find we can't pass up on a slice of pizza. We sit at the window seats watching the Castro scene as a mopey song plays in the background. Again with the excess. There are shops like Marcelo's all over the city, full of food for the purchasing. I remember the pizza Z ordered in Lallibela: a piece of bread with a mainly ketchup sauce and about three small slivers of grated cheese. Not really comparable to Marcelo's at all.
And then yesterday, we walk over to Union Square in search of a watchmaker and I realize just how much capitalism sickens me. There are all these people who have too much money and then these other people who are busy finding ways for the people with too much money to part with their money, all in order to make more money that they can then spend on things and stuff that they don't actually need - but there are people whose job it is to convince them that they do actually desperately need sunscreen for their dog. It's all disgusting. And the worst part is when I realize that somehow they've sunk their barbs into me, too.
Ah, the joys of reentry. I think I'll have some lunch.
On Saturday night in San Francisco, we head over to our old 'hood to play ring toss. On our way back to Muni we pass Marcelo's and find we can't pass up on a slice of pizza. We sit at the window seats watching the Castro scene as a mopey song plays in the background. Again with the excess. There are shops like Marcelo's all over the city, full of food for the purchasing. I remember the pizza Z ordered in Lallibela: a piece of bread with a mainly ketchup sauce and about three small slivers of grated cheese. Not really comparable to Marcelo's at all.
And then yesterday, we walk over to Union Square in search of a watchmaker and I realize just how much capitalism sickens me. There are all these people who have too much money and then these other people who are busy finding ways for the people with too much money to part with their money, all in order to make more money that they can then spend on things and stuff that they don't actually need - but there are people whose job it is to convince them that they do actually desperately need sunscreen for their dog. It's all disgusting. And the worst part is when I realize that somehow they've sunk their barbs into me, too.
Ah, the joys of reentry. I think I'll have some lunch.
June 13, 2006
Camera Shutter?
David Attenborough rocks for many reasons (I'm dead serious). This clip of a lyre bird is one of them.
June 12, 2006
The Other Side
In the early 1940's, my paternal grandfather was given a 48-hour leave from the base where he was a mechanic for the RAF. He and another serviceman walked past a theatre and decided to go in. They dug into their pockets for change but were quickly told that they didn't need to pay. They were given front and centre seats ... at the theatre recently featured in the movie Mrs Henderson Presents. He said his eyeballs still haven't popped back into his head.
He and my grandmother have been married for 63 years. They met in Blythe when she was 14 and he was 17 and moved to Australia with three children in the mid-1950's. In Adelaide, they got off the boat with a single trunk and $50.
We spent two days with them in Adelaide, which, along with Melbourne, is having the coldest June since the 1800's. Some places are recording the coldest temperatures ever. I'm so glad we're here to feel such important history being made. My toes are not so glad. Despite socks and nearby heating, they remain frozen. But I digress.
My grandfather had lots of stories to tell. He told us about their friends dog who only eats chicken breast (cooked and diced) and who needs to be walked every night at midnight. He told us about where he was on D-day: his squadron moved from Iceland to a loch in Scotland in terrible weather. He said that when someone in the squadron was killed, you would say that he had gone to have a Burton - a type of beer. This allowed all the men to keep a stiff upper lip, which is a vital part of being British.
It took me a while to realise why seeing Nana was strange. In the past, she's been so motherly - going out of her way to take care of me. This time, it was she who needed to be taken care of. She's much more frail and her memory is not what it used to be. She asked us at least three times per day when we were moving to Tasmania. While her memory may be declining, her cooking has certainly improved, most likely attributable to my grandfather's heart attack. She can no longer use as primary ingredients bacon, cheese, butter, cream, bacon and cheese. All of our arteries are glad.
There are magpies a-plenty around their house and they have trained my grandparents quite well. In the morning, they warble just outside the back door and are rewarded with bread for breakfast. Then they warble for morning tea. And for lunch. And afternoon tea. They have quite a racket going. In the mornings, Z and I would wake up to their songs and extricate ourselves from the guest bed, which is older than me. It was impossible to avoid rolling downhill into the centre of the mattress, though sleeping close together (with pyjamas, socks and sweaters on) helped keep us warm. There were still windows in the house open despite the bitter cold.
The first morning I opted for a shower to warm up. The trickle of water dribbling out of the tap was barely hot without any cold water on at all. But I guess it's all a part of sucking it up and not complaining. As my grandfather likes to say, Keep a stiff upper lip.
He and my grandmother have been married for 63 years. They met in Blythe when she was 14 and he was 17 and moved to Australia with three children in the mid-1950's. In Adelaide, they got off the boat with a single trunk and $50.
We spent two days with them in Adelaide, which, along with Melbourne, is having the coldest June since the 1800's. Some places are recording the coldest temperatures ever. I'm so glad we're here to feel such important history being made. My toes are not so glad. Despite socks and nearby heating, they remain frozen. But I digress.
My grandfather had lots of stories to tell. He told us about their friends dog who only eats chicken breast (cooked and diced) and who needs to be walked every night at midnight. He told us about where he was on D-day: his squadron moved from Iceland to a loch in Scotland in terrible weather. He said that when someone in the squadron was killed, you would say that he had gone to have a Burton - a type of beer. This allowed all the men to keep a stiff upper lip, which is a vital part of being British.
It took me a while to realise why seeing Nana was strange. In the past, she's been so motherly - going out of her way to take care of me. This time, it was she who needed to be taken care of. She's much more frail and her memory is not what it used to be. She asked us at least three times per day when we were moving to Tasmania. While her memory may be declining, her cooking has certainly improved, most likely attributable to my grandfather's heart attack. She can no longer use as primary ingredients bacon, cheese, butter, cream, bacon and cheese. All of our arteries are glad.
There are magpies a-plenty around their house and they have trained my grandparents quite well. In the morning, they warble just outside the back door and are rewarded with bread for breakfast. Then they warble for morning tea. And for lunch. And afternoon tea. They have quite a racket going. In the mornings, Z and I would wake up to their songs and extricate ourselves from the guest bed, which is older than me. It was impossible to avoid rolling downhill into the centre of the mattress, though sleeping close together (with pyjamas, socks and sweaters on) helped keep us warm. There were still windows in the house open despite the bitter cold.
The first morning I opted for a shower to warm up. The trickle of water dribbling out of the tap was barely hot without any cold water on at all. But I guess it's all a part of sucking it up and not complaining. As my grandfather likes to say, Keep a stiff upper lip.
June 07, 2006
Standards
We just returned from a visit to my maternal grandmother's house in Kyneton, about an hour NW of Melbourne. I have always been nervous about introducing people (read: males) to my grandmother as she used to adhere to a standard of etiquette that would make Miss Manners swoon. When I was little, the most commonly heard phrase at the dinner table (which was set formally every night) was, "How would you behave if the Queen was here?" I had noticed, while in Malaysia, that Z manipulated his cutlery with his elbows somewhere up around his ears, a move that would have guaranteed a, "Where are you flying to, dear?" said pointedly, with snide haughtiness. This from the same grandmother who begged me not to marry an American as that would give me more reason to not return to Australia.
Needless to say, I was nervous to introduce the two of them. I had nothing to worry about. Last night, my grandmother said that she would like to keep Z. No, she had no need for mum and I to stay; just Z, thank you very much. I think what really enamored her was his ability to dry dishes. She just wouldn't stop going on about how her husband would never - Never! - have done anything in the kitchen; that was women's work. How things have changed! I would never - Never! - have considered marrying anyone who wouldn't help out in the kitchen. And I don't know a woman who would.
She's softened up a lot, my grandmother has. She's a bit wobbly on her feet and a looks a lot more frail. She has trouble thinking of the word she wants to say. Yesterday she was telling us a story about entertaining important guests when she lived in Malaysia. The food was taking a long time to appear so she went into the kitchen to see what the problem was. She found the cook on his hands and knees picking up (and here she fumbled) white stuff from the floor. What is that stuff called, she asked us? Rice? we guessed. Pasta? Spaghetti? Noodles? Rice? Finally, I said potatoes - and she was off to finish the story. She had the cook hurriedly wash the potatoes and serve them because the guests had already waited too long for the food. There was so much emphasis on looking right in that social circle and at that time. This also explains why she once served tea after seeing a cockroach floating in the tea pot: she couldn't admit that there were vermin in the kitchen! But don't worry - mum cooked the food on this most recent visit. Nothing fell on the floor or came into intimate contact with any kind of insect. I think.
It was great to see my grandmother again. I came to Australia in 2001 and saw her for what I thought would be the last time. I've seen her twice more since. To say that I'm glad she and Z had a chance to meet would be an understatement.
She's intent on being remembered - she wants to give her things away to people who will treasure them and use them. She gave us a beautiful silver pitcher that, she explained, allows one to have the wine decanted and ready to serve as soon as the guests arrive. Like I need things to remember my grandmother by. She will always be with me through her stories, her love of animals, her table manners and that stubborn streak that runs thick through the blood of this family's women. While looking through some old photographs, Z pointed out that she and I looked alike as young girls. I think it was the set of our jaws. I've never seen that resemblance before; it's one more way to remember her.
Needless to say, I was nervous to introduce the two of them. I had nothing to worry about. Last night, my grandmother said that she would like to keep Z. No, she had no need for mum and I to stay; just Z, thank you very much. I think what really enamored her was his ability to dry dishes. She just wouldn't stop going on about how her husband would never - Never! - have done anything in the kitchen; that was women's work. How things have changed! I would never - Never! - have considered marrying anyone who wouldn't help out in the kitchen. And I don't know a woman who would.
She's softened up a lot, my grandmother has. She's a bit wobbly on her feet and a looks a lot more frail. She has trouble thinking of the word she wants to say. Yesterday she was telling us a story about entertaining important guests when she lived in Malaysia. The food was taking a long time to appear so she went into the kitchen to see what the problem was. She found the cook on his hands and knees picking up (and here she fumbled) white stuff from the floor. What is that stuff called, she asked us? Rice? we guessed. Pasta? Spaghetti? Noodles? Rice? Finally, I said potatoes - and she was off to finish the story. She had the cook hurriedly wash the potatoes and serve them because the guests had already waited too long for the food. There was so much emphasis on looking right in that social circle and at that time. This also explains why she once served tea after seeing a cockroach floating in the tea pot: she couldn't admit that there were vermin in the kitchen! But don't worry - mum cooked the food on this most recent visit. Nothing fell on the floor or came into intimate contact with any kind of insect. I think.
It was great to see my grandmother again. I came to Australia in 2001 and saw her for what I thought would be the last time. I've seen her twice more since. To say that I'm glad she and Z had a chance to meet would be an understatement.
She's intent on being remembered - she wants to give her things away to people who will treasure them and use them. She gave us a beautiful silver pitcher that, she explained, allows one to have the wine decanted and ready to serve as soon as the guests arrive. Like I need things to remember my grandmother by. She will always be with me through her stories, her love of animals, her table manners and that stubborn streak that runs thick through the blood of this family's women. While looking through some old photographs, Z pointed out that she and I looked alike as young girls. I think it was the set of our jaws. I've never seen that resemblance before; it's one more way to remember her.
June 03, 2006
End of Travellator
We are in Australia, Melbourne to be precise. It is winter down here. Yesterday must have been a mild day because other people were walking around in t-shirts and light jackets. Emphasis on Other People. I sported four layers including woolen jumper (sweater to you yanks), long coat and scarf. In Malaysia, our a/c was set to 20C; here the heater is set to 20C. And everyone talks funny. I am doing my best to resist reverting to full-on Aussiedom knowing that communication between me and my husband would quickly devolve to grunted Huh's? and pantomime. So far, so good: we are still talking.
I have received many curious e-mails about my sister who moved to Melbourne with her husband in January. Despite the fact that we are all in the same house, I have seen her for all of 15 minutes (she was exhausted) in the three days we've been here. Hiding out? Who? Where??? Z has been great at reminding me exactly how much things have improved: she is talking to two members of the family (mum and her partner); she is working; she is not lying in a ditch somewhere. And yet, of course it is hard for me. I did not see her at her worst which means that now she appears as a shadow of the young woman I used to admire so much. I know that there was a huge dip between 2002 and 2006, a dip which I thankfully did not have to witness first-hand. Compared to that dip, she's doing brilliantly. But for me, it seems like a down from her former glory. It's sad; it's hard. And I'm trying not to let it completely rule my time here nor my emotional well-being. So, tonight we are going to stay with Alicia and Mick for a few days. It will be great to see them both; they are wonderfully fun people.
In other news, there are hilarious photos now up from the time we spent with Lev. They're on Z's site and we will hopefully be moving the rest of our photos to the same spot in the next month or so. Emphasis on the Or So.
It's interesting to be entering this new phase of our travels. In this part of the world, the moving walkways found at airports are called Travellators. En route to the car park in Melbourne aiport, a recording of a woman's voice sternly warned of the End of the Travellator. In Singapore, they had bright red signs. I took them as signs - as in Signs, of the end of our Travellator. I just need to remember to release the brake on my luggage-laden hand cart.
I have received many curious e-mails about my sister who moved to Melbourne with her husband in January. Despite the fact that we are all in the same house, I have seen her for all of 15 minutes (she was exhausted) in the three days we've been here. Hiding out? Who? Where??? Z has been great at reminding me exactly how much things have improved: she is talking to two members of the family (mum and her partner); she is working; she is not lying in a ditch somewhere. And yet, of course it is hard for me. I did not see her at her worst which means that now she appears as a shadow of the young woman I used to admire so much. I know that there was a huge dip between 2002 and 2006, a dip which I thankfully did not have to witness first-hand. Compared to that dip, she's doing brilliantly. But for me, it seems like a down from her former glory. It's sad; it's hard. And I'm trying not to let it completely rule my time here nor my emotional well-being. So, tonight we are going to stay with Alicia and Mick for a few days. It will be great to see them both; they are wonderfully fun people.
In other news, there are hilarious photos now up from the time we spent with Lev. They're on Z's site and we will hopefully be moving the rest of our photos to the same spot in the next month or so. Emphasis on the Or So.
It's interesting to be entering this new phase of our travels. In this part of the world, the moving walkways found at airports are called Travellators. En route to the car park in Melbourne aiport, a recording of a woman's voice sternly warned of the End of the Travellator. In Singapore, they had bright red signs. I took them as signs - as in Signs, of the end of our Travellator. I just need to remember to release the brake on my luggage-laden hand cart.
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