Choo Choo Choo

The buses in Sri Lanka are crowded and full of seats designed for people with only one ass cheek. The drivers think nothing of passing on a blind corner and then will screech to a halt for squirrel. Our few bus rides from Mirissa to Matara and back involved being tossed around as the bus swung wildly all over the narrow road. Not exactly fun. On one memorable ride I got a seat and Z stood next to me. At the next stop, somehow a large woman pushed between Z and I. I spent the rest of the ride with her belly smooshed into the side of my head, not wanting to turn my face for fear of drowning in her cleavage. When Z found out that there was a train from Matara to Kandy that only took 6 hours, we decided to take it rather than risk imminent death in Bus Plunge Horror (thanks to Paul Theroux for that line).

We were not too dismayed when we learnt that the 6 hour ride departed Matara at 1:00pm and arrived in Kandy at 8:00pm. We are, after all, seasoned travelers who expect such things.

The ride between Matara and Colombo mainly traveled the coast. The views of the ocean were beautiful, and some places seem to have been not affected by the tsunami at all. And then we'd pass a long stretch where all that remained of houses were concrete foundations and the occasional walls. One group of boys had turned a concrete slab into a cricket pitch. Many people had built small shacks of crude wooden boards on their old, much larger foundations. Many more people still live in tents donated by various international aid groups, their names stenciled on the blue plastic walls.

In Colombo, we pulled into the station and were immediately swamped by a veritable stampede of office workers trying to get home. I don't know how people managed to get off the train considering how many people were pushing on. The lights and fans quickly went out, leaving us to sweat in a press of bodies.

Outside Colombo, the light began to fade from the sky, the crepuscular mist making the fields look soft enough to pet and the palm trees and distant hills appear blue. It was beautiful, but we were now passing our 6 hour travel time. And then we passed seven hours. And eight. We arrived in Kandy at close to 10pm. There's nothing about a 9hr train ride that feels like 6 hours. It's a known fact that every extra travel hour feels like two.

Apparently, we did not learn our lesson because several days later, we got on a train to Elle, a mountain town 163km from Kandy. This time the 6 hour journey only took 8 hours. Our speed was governed by various signs along the track: 20Km/H; Bad sleepers 10Km/H; and, inexplicably, 15Km/Ph. At one point, and I exagerrate not, I watched a butterfly fly along next to us, keeping apace with the train until it turned away in search of sweeter smells. Yes, we were going as fast as a butterfly.

On the positive side, we met several nice Sri Lankans on the train. The kind of people that insist on buying you all of the food you glance at as it makes its way down the aisles in someone's basket. One man even offered us land upon which to build a house. Sri Lankans are really, really nice.

But we're going to Bangkok anyway. In a couple of days. We planned to go north to Trincomalee but reading about showers that spray mould in $30/night rooms turned us off. Thailand will be good. Easy. Full of other travelers. No pressure to see the sites because we've already seen them. And I hear they have Thai food there. Yum!

Mmmm...

We just spent 9 days on a beach in southern Sri Lanka. The water was warm. The waves were fun. The sand was soft. The food was cheap. And the best part? No-one tried to sell us anything. It's that last part that separates the merely wonderful from paradise.

We are now in Kandy which everyone from tuk-tuk drivers to travelers has warned us is busy, polluted, loud and full of con-men. Obviously these people have never been to Cairo. After that city, nothing will ever seem busy, polluted or full of touts again. Ever.

You can enjoy our travels vicariously by checking out some new pictures. Not so many this time. Egypt to Jordan. Mouth watering pictures of Sri Lanka will come later.

Things I will miss, things I won't

I had just relearned how to cross the road by waiting for the little man to turn green when we arrived in Jordan where I have had to unlearn the relearning in order to throw my body in front of moving vehicles, little green and red men be damned.

The roads here aren't nearly as bad as Cairo, which may not be saying all that much. However, when Jordanian motorists see pedestrians in the street they usually slow down, unlike Cairenes who speed up and lean on the horn. People here are on the whole like their friendly Egyptian neighbours but without the wandering hands, the marriage proposals and the You wanna alabaster pyramid? When it comes to ruins and things that are old, however, Egypt does take the cake, perhaps with one exception: in the Archaelogical Museum in Amman they have statues that are 9,000 years old. The only other human things I've seen that age have been bits of rock that some specialist claims are tools but that just look like bits of rock that fell off another bit of rock in just the right way that if you use your imagination you can see that they could once have been used as a knife.

Speaking of rocks, the Nabateans who built Petra apparently listened to their realtors when they said, Location! Location! Location! The facades of the buildings there are nice, but the rock they are carved into is stunning: sandstone in blue, red, white, pink, purple, yellow and cream swirls and stripes. It sometimes resembled abstract art and sometimes big slabs of meat, depending on how long it had been since we last ate. On our second day in Petra we avoided the raging winds laden with scouring Saharan dust by wandering through a side canyon. It was one of the most beautiful natural places I've ever been. At one point, the canyon narrowed to a few feet wide and twisted sinously in waves of colored stone. If you haven't been, you should go.

And tomorrow, we are leaving the cold parts of the world. We fly to Dubai for dinner and then on to Sri Lanka where we'll take a bus to a beach where we can string up our hammocks, remove our layers, open our books and say things like, Why yes! I would like another coconut daquari. I will, however, miss the hummous. I like the hummous. I will not miss herpes, which was listed on a menu in Wadi Musa under the heading, Warm Drinks.