Three unrelated paragraphs

Lumpkin and I were IM'ing a while back and discussing our brilliance. We are, in fact, each of us so smart that we are occasionally incapable of functioning in real society. When I walk into the wall it's because I'm a genius; when Lumpkin falls down the stairs, it's because he's a genius. We are genii.

The weather this week is abysmal: 30 knot winds and 4m seas. I was hoping to get three days of diving in but don't think I would be able to get out from the harbour in these conditions, leaving me high and dry. It feels like a week off though I'm still working pretty darn hard. I've been watching a lot of footage from my baited underwater cameras and it's taught me a lot about life. It's true; you can learn from the fishies. For example, I'm sure you've often found yourself up late at night pacing and asking yourself why, why do the fishes school? Doesn't that just make them an easy target for a big-mouthed shark/whale/seal/fish? After trying to count fish that are a-swirling together I'm happy to report that schooling does confuse a predator. Being a predator of sorts, school-like behaviour makes me unhappy. I would prefer that the fishes swim slowly past my camera in orderly rows, pausing so that I can identify them.

I've managed to spend a fair bit of my week filling out lots of forms. All of Australian health and safety departments require that risk assessment forms be completed before any activity can be undertaken. This involves identifying risks and things that can be done to mitigate the risks so that all risks are L for Low by the time an activity is undertaken. Yes, it's as pointless as it sounds. There's one risk, namely Dangerous Marine Animals, that always has us stumped. The consequences of the risk are severe though the chances of anything happening are extremely low, still a High risk overall. And what the hell are we supposed to do to mitigate against this risk? On one form, I wrote down "prayer, hope". A colleague routinely writes down, "vigilance". This is the same colleague who mitigated a risk posed by a teenager carrying around a fully cocked spear gun with "stern words". It's just as well our dive safety officer doesn't have time to read the forms!